YOU BOUGHT A WHAT?
Pardon me? A station-wagon. What was that?? A sta-ti-on wa-gon!!!
But...but... why? Again, the same incredulous "are you a card short old chap?" expression passed through their faces. Again, you could physically see my whole body deflate a few inches in height (width would have been shedloads better but i'm on the short end of the stick here, remember?). I might have just as well be talking to them in Latin. In fact, that would have been perfect - a dead language for a dead concept.
You know, sometimes i wonder why station wagons have such a bad rep in Malaysia. I knew I should have been born in the UK, where the "Estate", as they call it over there, is a close and only slightly inferior cousin to the Range Rover - the ultimate landed gentry express.
Wagons have never taken off in Malaysia. The reason why you see a preponderance of Nissan AD Resorts and Kia Rios on the roads is due more to their bargain basement prices, rather than the fact that they have an extra boot tacked on to the top of the normal one. That the AD Resort is prolly the cheapest Nissan had the rather funny effect of people buying them and then plonking in a ( ) 220bhp turbocharged engine into it - you can tell by their mudguard scraping 17 inch rims, and road scraping suspension and exhaust.
Unlike Nissan, Volvo had it sussed back then, when it came out with its original firebreathing 850 T5 uber wagon. A lot of middle management male Malaysians went out and bought it because of its Q car looks. Not that they wanted to keep the 250bhp turbocharged inline 5 engine secret from the cops. Rather, it was their wives that they were sucessfully duping. "I bought this car because of the kids and you, dearie plops...." rang out loud in many a double storey terraced house in Klang Valley.
Why is it, then, that there exists only a small and dwindling group of hardcore wagoneers in Malaysia, religiously rifling through the Star Classifieds every day in the hope of finding an overpriced Mercedes or Volvo Estate among the scores of saloons on sale? I don't know why they are so unpopular.
It was unpopular when Cliff Richard came out with his first hit single...oooer... back in the middle of the 14th century?... and it's still unpopular now, when Cliff Richard's X'mas single is climbing the charts yet again - like it did the year before, and the decade before that, and.... you know what i mean.
Perhaps its not macho enough. Not man enough, unlike the Storms and Rangers and X-Trails and CRVs that flooded the market. These vehicles are tall and have 4wd. For goodness sake, what can be more macho than a cargo deck lined with Detroit's and Tokyo's finest steel? Perhaps its not "family" enough, like the Unsers and Rias and Odesseys, which came slightly before the 4wd invasion but whose popularity has not waned. Perhaps that was the curse of the wagon - its neither here, nor there. An in-between car - what Paddy Ashdown and his whole Lib Dem party would have driven.
But for god and country man! Wake up! You canna know what you're missing (in your best Star Trek accent please). Let us, firstly, talk about what men and women all around the world can relate to. Size. It may surprise most of you that the average Merc or Volvo wagon, with its rear seats down, has more space than the Land Rover Discovery or the latest 2004 Honda CRV with their rear seats down. What you may not notice is also the fact that wagons are specialist load carriers - the seat base and seat back cunningly fold to create an utterly flat and extremely long load base - from taillights right up to the front seat backs. No huffing and puffing to remove seats from the run of the mill MPV. A normal dining table top for 6 is an easy lunch for a wagon. A 2 door fridge? Easy peasy. A top loading washing machine? After dinner mints. A doberman, a rottweiler, 3 cats in their individual cat carriers, a mad ferret on the loose and 2 goldfish? Noah never had it so air-conditioned good. Believe it or not, the load bay of your Ford Ranger Hurricane (or tornado, or tsunami, or tropical rainstorm or something) is no bigger in length and width than your average executive saloon estate.
Wet your appetite yet? Now, for all those boy (and girl) racers out there, and come on, that would include the entire male population, only that their better halves have no idea who they married, apart from the occasional lapses when the red mist descends in their presence. Dey Macha... what would you really want to drive up and down a twisty bit of tarmac lah?
Option A, a tall, top heavy, front heavy, rear wheel drive 4wd that locks its back brakes every time you even think of braking? One that rolls like the Queen Elizabeth in corners and has the weight distribution so utterly wrong that you end up sliding the rear end in a dramatic group-B style oversteer slide at 30kph?
Option B, an MPV that thinks its a car, but sits you so far up infront and upright that you'll be looking over your shoulder for the 6 iron? One that makes even the Queen E look decidedly unroly. And of course, heaven forbid - front wheel drive. Sacre Bleu. What are they on guv?
Or... ladies and gentle racers... a traditioal rear wheel drive saloon that has even better weight distribution due to some extra sheet metal at the back? One that has stiffened springs and bigger anti-roll bars to cope with the added speed through corners ... I mean... added load carryhing capabilities. Ahem. Sorry.
Which is why, after thinking about it and giving it some serious thought for, oh, about 2 seconds, I went out and bought one. A wagon. A proper, and the original gentlemen's express.
979 words
But...but... why? Again, the same incredulous "are you a card short old chap?" expression passed through their faces. Again, you could physically see my whole body deflate a few inches in height (width would have been shedloads better but i'm on the short end of the stick here, remember?). I might have just as well be talking to them in Latin. In fact, that would have been perfect - a dead language for a dead concept.
You know, sometimes i wonder why station wagons have such a bad rep in Malaysia. I knew I should have been born in the UK, where the "Estate", as they call it over there, is a close and only slightly inferior cousin to the Range Rover - the ultimate landed gentry express.
Wagons have never taken off in Malaysia. The reason why you see a preponderance of Nissan AD Resorts and Kia Rios on the roads is due more to their bargain basement prices, rather than the fact that they have an extra boot tacked on to the top of the normal one. That the AD Resort is prolly the cheapest Nissan had the rather funny effect of people buying them and then plonking in a ( ) 220bhp turbocharged engine into it - you can tell by their mudguard scraping 17 inch rims, and road scraping suspension and exhaust.
Unlike Nissan, Volvo had it sussed back then, when it came out with its original firebreathing 850 T5 uber wagon. A lot of middle management male Malaysians went out and bought it because of its Q car looks. Not that they wanted to keep the 250bhp turbocharged inline 5 engine secret from the cops. Rather, it was their wives that they were sucessfully duping. "I bought this car because of the kids and you, dearie plops...." rang out loud in many a double storey terraced house in Klang Valley.
Why is it, then, that there exists only a small and dwindling group of hardcore wagoneers in Malaysia, religiously rifling through the Star Classifieds every day in the hope of finding an overpriced Mercedes or Volvo Estate among the scores of saloons on sale? I don't know why they are so unpopular.
It was unpopular when Cliff Richard came out with his first hit single...oooer... back in the middle of the 14th century?... and it's still unpopular now, when Cliff Richard's X'mas single is climbing the charts yet again - like it did the year before, and the decade before that, and.... you know what i mean.
Perhaps its not macho enough. Not man enough, unlike the Storms and Rangers and X-Trails and CRVs that flooded the market. These vehicles are tall and have 4wd. For goodness sake, what can be more macho than a cargo deck lined with Detroit's and Tokyo's finest steel? Perhaps its not "family" enough, like the Unsers and Rias and Odesseys, which came slightly before the 4wd invasion but whose popularity has not waned. Perhaps that was the curse of the wagon - its neither here, nor there. An in-between car - what Paddy Ashdown and his whole Lib Dem party would have driven.
But for god and country man! Wake up! You canna know what you're missing (in your best Star Trek accent please). Let us, firstly, talk about what men and women all around the world can relate to. Size. It may surprise most of you that the average Merc or Volvo wagon, with its rear seats down, has more space than the Land Rover Discovery or the latest 2004 Honda CRV with their rear seats down. What you may not notice is also the fact that wagons are specialist load carriers - the seat base and seat back cunningly fold to create an utterly flat and extremely long load base - from taillights right up to the front seat backs. No huffing and puffing to remove seats from the run of the mill MPV. A normal dining table top for 6 is an easy lunch for a wagon. A 2 door fridge? Easy peasy. A top loading washing machine? After dinner mints. A doberman, a rottweiler, 3 cats in their individual cat carriers, a mad ferret on the loose and 2 goldfish? Noah never had it so air-conditioned good. Believe it or not, the load bay of your Ford Ranger Hurricane (or tornado, or tsunami, or tropical rainstorm or something) is no bigger in length and width than your average executive saloon estate.
Wet your appetite yet? Now, for all those boy (and girl) racers out there, and come on, that would include the entire male population, only that their better halves have no idea who they married, apart from the occasional lapses when the red mist descends in their presence. Dey Macha... what would you really want to drive up and down a twisty bit of tarmac lah?
Option A, a tall, top heavy, front heavy, rear wheel drive 4wd that locks its back brakes every time you even think of braking? One that rolls like the Queen Elizabeth in corners and has the weight distribution so utterly wrong that you end up sliding the rear end in a dramatic group-B style oversteer slide at 30kph?
Option B, an MPV that thinks its a car, but sits you so far up infront and upright that you'll be looking over your shoulder for the 6 iron? One that makes even the Queen E look decidedly unroly. And of course, heaven forbid - front wheel drive. Sacre Bleu. What are they on guv?
Or... ladies and gentle racers... a traditioal rear wheel drive saloon that has even better weight distribution due to some extra sheet metal at the back? One that has stiffened springs and bigger anti-roll bars to cope with the added speed through corners ... I mean... added load carryhing capabilities. Ahem. Sorry.
Which is why, after thinking about it and giving it some serious thought for, oh, about 2 seconds, I went out and bought one. A wagon. A proper, and the original gentlemen's express.
979 words
posted by aries at
2:25 AM
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